Best laid plans of cats and men sometimes go awry
JERRY AULDS

A loving, sneaky floral surprise for my bride, Dayle Bebee Aulds, was my goal on Valentine's Day this past Thursday, but a feline threat put the kibosh on the garage a the hiding place of choice, leading to an unusual complication with the eventual hideout.

It all started with a simple question to the florist on the afternoon before Valentine's Day.

"Will this arrangement holdup overnight in the garage?"

Back came a question.

"Can cats get in your garage?"

I failed to see what cats had to do with flowers, but told her that while we had no cats of our own, some neighborhood felines consider our place the perfect rendezvous for amore and yes, our garage did have a few holes that a cat could wiggle through.

As near as I understand her explanation, flowers are a kind of catnip or a toy to be batted about.

Either way, with a cat on hand, Dayle's floral surprise would be way beyond bedraggled come Valentine's morning.

Considering the kitty threat, I went to Plan B, the bathroom in my upstairs hangout. Perfect! Dayle visits my upstairs lair from time to time, but rarely ventures into the bathroom.

But as my late friend and mentor Fred Barbee was wont to say, "Bad breaks will beat you."

Returning from a meeting of the Wharton County Youth Fair Academic Rodeo committee of Crescent, Dayle came bounding up the stairs, announcing she had news.

All the while making a beeline for the bathroom.

Oh Lord! The cat's out of the bag!

Only my 40-decibel bellow, "Stop! Do not go in there!" halted her pellmell dash.

Turning with a look of stunned but inquisitive surprise, Dayle first appeared to think I might have a body tucked under the sink, or in the shower. Then came a smile of comprehension, followed by a stately return down the stairs.

Well before dawn, I crept down the staircase with the flower arrangement, a card, and an aromatic candle.

"They're beautiful," she murmured drowsily.

It was a beautiful morning, and not a cat in sight.