“It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine,” goes the R.E.M. song that sticks in your head just as quickly as “the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round ....”
But you’ve got to wonder if the band named after our perchance to dream is actually pretty dern smart.
I do feel fine – or at least as fine as an overworked journalist with underlying health issues is going to on any given day. How about you?
Not bad considering it’s just four days before the world ends – don’t you think?
A numerologist – one of those folks far better at playing with numbers than I – has divided Pi by the number of dove suddenly safely huddled in El Campo yards, multiplied it by the football championship dreams of Texas high school students, stood on one foot, danced the hokie pokie, turned themselves around and subtracted the number of nacho plates sold in Texas last week to come up with a hearty Scooby Do “Rut-Ro.”
In this particular end of the world (we’ve already survived plenty others), the mysterious Planet X is to blame – If it even exists.
Some folks, including several with snazzy pocket protectors and lots of degrees, declare this theoretical globe to be the modern equivalent of “horse feathers.”
Others with official, genuine scientist gear say Planet X, like the truth, is out there. But the hide-and-seek blob does little more than move “space stuff” around somewhere past Pluto, that has-been planet at the edge of our solar system.
Still more, apparently a devout group of Christians looking forward to an extended vacation, say destiny is written in the stars – even on cloudy nights.
Guess it all depends on your point of view.
Ready to get away from it all?
Before you go on a four-day bender complete with a “I do what I wanna credit card spree,” however, consider the possibility of actually making it to Day 5 or Sunday as we, the unenlightened, call it.
Could be mighty expensive.
And those thoughts of doing something you know your Momma wouldn’t approve? I don’t care what age you happen to be. The “But Mom The World’s Ending” whine is not likely to fly – one way (the world stays firmly in place) or the other (you head to the proverbial pearly gates).
It’s a nice mental exercise, though, isn’t it? T-minus about 85 hours and counting – depending on when the world’s “I’m done with you puny human” actually comes.
So what do you do? Go see the relatives? Grab a beer or nine? Give up on the home repair project? Say “Forgive me Father for I have sinned – bunches?”
Look around and say, “Thanks for the ride?”
Try to “Do good” in those last fateful hours?
Of course if you still happen to be stuck on the bus wheels song, the end of the world may not seem all that bad.
– Shannon Crabtree is editor & publisher of the El Campo Leader-News.