Seems we’re officially headed for winter with El Campo’s winds almost knocking you sideways while dropping what feels like ice cubes down your back earlier this week.

It’s a rough time, especially hard if you’re one of us gals.

Being at the mercy of modern fashion is almost as tough facing the weather itself, I discovered just a few days before the chill winds blew into the city.

Have you noticed that just about everything designed for women now has a neck on it that three people could get their heads through at the same time? Now that’s practical for cold weather wear, isn’t it?

Let’s not even get into the plunge.

Your average gal’s sweatshirt weighs about the same as a toddler’s outfit, I learned about the time I decided to buy a nice, comfy one this season. Combined with the whole open neck thing, it makes the outfit about as protective as a swimsuit wrap.

You could put one of those pretty scarves around your neck, because those layers of sheer fabric are known for their warmth right?

Let’s just ignore that space in between neck and collar. Or maybe, just maybe, the shrugged shoulder look is in.

It kind of works with the paper thin sweaters we’re supposed to wear and the pretty little coats that barely reach the waist.

“Holy, #$%*! Batman, it’s cold,” you say? But my, my, don’t you look pretty? Just shrug your shoulders and hunch over a little more, dear. You want to be part of the in crowd, don’t you? Shiver girl, shiver.

Us gals would stick our hands in our pockets, but, oh wait, we don’t have those anymore.

Guess it’s time to buy a pair of those non-water-proof fashion gloves. You know, the ones made of a single layer of polyester with the same stuff they make women’s sweatshirts with lining inside it. Yep, that would keep us warm. Just so long as there’s no wind or rain. We never have to worry about those in El Campo right?

At least we still have our pretty fashion boots on our feet. Who cares if they’re not water proof and lined with the same stuff they make women’s flannel shirts out of? You know, the stuff that looks plaid and fuzzy, but you can see right through it if you hold it up to the light?

Just put it over your sweatshirt dear, another 50 or so layers and you’ll be right comfy. That, however, will never earn you a “My don’t you look pretty?”

I suppose the only answer is to stand by your man – literally.

Must be about 30 pounds of fabric those guys get to wear anytime the weather drops below 80. 

Have you picked up a men’s hoodie lately? Just one may weigh more than your average gal’s entire wardrobe.

If the current men’s fashion trend of woolen ski caps year round is any indication, they may always be cold.

You’ve got to envy the fact their shirts actually fit around the neck though.

But I know what most of you are thinking.

How could you do the shoulder shrug, teeth-chattering, fashion hop if you were actually warm?

My, don’t you look pretty?

 

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– Shannon Crabtree is editor & publisher of the El Campo Leader-News.

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